Blackjack

I can't wait to see "March of the Penguins"

Penguin Movie

This movie is sure to kick ass, and to once again bring prominence to penguins around the world. Can you think of a more classy animal? I think not. The animal eats, sleeps, swims, and fucks in a tuxedo. Sooooooo Classy.



Check out this crazy penguin.
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This weekend is C-Dub's semi-annual trip to Sunriver. Now i know what you are thinking . . . is the bat going to make an appearance? Well, honestly, nobody knows but you should bring your bat traps and nets if you don't want to get terrorized (and leave the bananas at home, the bat likes bananas).

Once again Blackjack has been put in charge of buying the keg. Cdub was probably thinking: "I wonder, hmmm, who can I get to buy the keg? well, let's see, Blackjack has the longest police record when it comes to alcohol, let's just get him to put the K.E.G. in his name".

Bad idea C-Dub, but the dude must abide and therefore I shall collect hella cash and buy hella kegs for your hella extreme Sunriver vacation. (all "hellas" mentioned are on loan from the state of California)


This is how C-Dub vacations always end up. As one of C-Dub's homeboys said it once, "Bitches in the hot tub gettin' it on, and they aint leavin' 'till six in the morn'. " He's ghetto like that.

I'll try to get an update for you but you know the old rule, whatever happens at Sunriver stays at Sunriver . . . . oh come on, you don't buy that do you?
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I have set a new world record for the most lost North Face fleeces in a lifetime. I have lost my third Black, size medium North Face Denali Fleece.

I hate this world.

Check this article out

Black Hole of Fleeces

This is what it looks like, and it has a cell phone in the pocket. I cry at night.
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What is up with these online programs like myspace.com and facebook? they are so addicting, but why? i am perplexed.


Skate or die, bitches.
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Another successful trip to the cabin and i have the pics to prove it. Or is this all staged like the moon landing? Well, probably not. If you weren't able to make it, or you flaked, or you had a birthday, i understand but i'm still disappointed. You'd be suprised how much fun you can have in the middle of the woods in winter. We forgot to bring "Cranium", a kick ass board game so instead we played charades. Yes, i know, what losers. But it was really nice just having a few people up there playing old fogey games and enjoying each other's company. Hopefully we can make another trip in the early spring and go wakeboarding.



Dnutz was excited as all hell to be back in the cabizzle. Throw 'em up dawg.



I felt bad for Donnie, he just sat around missing his car and his GeorgiaPeach.


the Nuggler got so qwetzelfied he thought Shari had pink harry feet . . .



Smiler kept braging about his sick new board. Wait, isn't that for little kids?



Jackalack kept herself busy practicing her smiling and wondering how her name would sound after she marries a rich doctor, "Mrs. Dr. Noah Wyle". Sounds good jacks, invite me over for tea and crumpets some time.



We were having a good time drinking and pretending to be gangsters (ooooooooooooooooh) when all of a sudden we ran out of beer. We called a local bar, Manley's, and luckily they had "BEER TO GO". So Donnie and I raced down to the bar, speeding profusely. We tied our car up at the hitchin' post out front and went in hoping to pick up some beer and maybe a little tail . . .


. . . unfortunatly all they had were heads. Talk about a country bar, there were more animal heads on the wall than people in the whole bar. The locals gave us a questioning look when we came in. We shot some pool and pretended like we belong, but it was obvious that Donnie was out of his element. The bartender was a crazy old woman who couldn't do math, so we threw down our wad of cash, grabbed the brews, and headed for home.


When we returned Dnutz was nowhere to be found, but we were perplexed to find a windmill on the couch. How did a windmill get in here?


Another great trip complete. Thanks for coming y'all, see ya again next year.
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It's that time of year again, 25 people being stuck in a small space and no privacy. NO, not Shasta, i wish, it's time for the Blackjack annual ski trip.



some people don't know what a cabin is. this is a cabin. you can't call a house at sunriver a cabin.


these thugs showed up last time and drank all my kool-aid, shiiiiiit



sometimes people get too drunk at the ski bar and the bartender just drops them off in front of my cabin.



if all goes as planned my dream girl will come without that pesky morgron . . .


the best way to drink pabst is from the bottom of the can



I know what you all are thinking, i've been up to the cabin multiple times but what do i need to remember to bring that i didn't bring last year. Well, bring the following . . .




I recommend a warm sleeping bag in case you have to sleep outside ( i don't recommend bringing one with a 10 year old girl in it, it will be too heavy to hike in.)



Snow boots are a must



a hot girlfriend like mine . . . uh, wait . . . what?


and a good attitude of course. nothing is more rewarding than a piece of paper telling me i am a good boy. i take that back, stickers, smiley face stickers on a chart with my name, that is the best.

SEE ALL OF YOU THERE!!! (except the people i haven't invited, i won't see you there of course. )
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Welcome back all!! Wow, it has been a long time since i was a free man. I've been locked up for a few months now as my court case went through. Thanks to the help of my attorney, Mr. MacoSharkAttack i was able to get off on a technicality. It turns out she was sixteen after all but they could never prove that she didn't plant the evidence (semen, don't ask, it's very medical) in the location (twat) in which it was later found.

So enough jibber jabber, on to the update . . .

I was released about a week ago in downtown potland. Luckily there was a basketball game that night and the BudHouse boys were in town to watch LeBron James whoop up on the P-Town Felons, uh, i mean, Trail Blazers. Anyway we went out and had a good ol' time downtown. The beer was way better than the moonshine i was buying for two packs of cigarettes in the jailhouse.

Doing what any man would do after being let out of jail, i went directly to a bar. I had a great time catching up with some of my old friends . . .


It was great to see Barrelman again. Nothing really has changed with him. He still looks like a fifty year old man shaped like a barrel. I hear he has mad game with the "cougars" (i'm not talking WSU, look it up if you don't know the term)


Morgron has opened up a PitaPit and works about 75 hours a week rolling pitas. Some say that a Pita is just a Burrito for snobby white people . . . well . . . anyways, keep 'em rollin dawg, and best of luck. Wedding rings aren't cheap and if I know Courtney very well (which i don't, but i like to pretend i do at night when i go to sleep) she is gonna want a fat rock before she says yes to a pita (snobby burrito) owner like yourself. I still think i've got a chance . . .


AmandaHugandkiss has moved up to Portland after graduating and found a good job working with European travel companies. JesicaBlonde was in town as well on a hunt for a job. Portland kicks butt and i hope someday i will be as lucky as these two and escape Ugene for Ptown. Morgron didn't even try and kiss or yell at either one of them, a common occurance for Morgron. I think maybe he has gotten soft in his old age.


Haggmeez is slangin' computers for CompUSA and living in a studio apartment downtown, (or at least until his neighbors kick him out for having noisy guests aka BudHouse Boys.) I also hear that he is pursuing a relationship with GooFay. I hope that works out for him, RichFay#5 will make a cool brother-in-law. Think about how great thanksgiving will be, Flip an A!!!

P.S. - I gotta thank Hagmeez for letting us all crash at his place. Not many men will miss out on sleep for drunken friends and an acid dropping homeless girl who just wants to check her email.

I'M BACK BITCHES!!!

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REJOICE!!! - Cdub Presents is up and running.

Well ladies and girls, after a great term here at the jack, it became very apparent that I needed to move on to bigger and much better things than Blackjack Media. Needless to say the mighty BJ tried in extreme vain to keep me on his payroll. First he sent one of his agents to bribe me on the way out of one of my frequent trips to the gym.


No fuck you Mr. Maguire.

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Well folks it seems that once again my bruddah conman concluded that America was just to stinky and decided to visit what he described the REAL Dirty dirty south, Peru. So we here at Cdub Presents will be reporting on his wherabouts and travels throughout the next four months. And yes I will be sure to update you on cbombz and AOLPimp as well.

So conman flew out of Boston to Lima last wednesday and already had some good news. Conman forgot after 9/11 (never forget), people were no longer allowed to carry copious amounts of narcotics out of the country. Only in. Needless to say, Officer Farva and Spanky the Dog caught him but graciously let him go. See officer Farva believes that eating more than one pita on a shift is the only punishable offense in the U.S. Justice System.

Oh he'll punch-a-size your face for free.

With his bag being confiscated and nothing but a few bucks in his pocket, conman needed some skrilla quick. So he took on an odd job that would finance him for the next few weeks.


You know chicks dig the sombrero.

So after making a quick buck with the idol, con set off for a little mountain town called Huaraz.

He rides the red line like Indy too.

Along the way he encountered some banditos though and had to fight them off. It was an epic little struggle but conman prevailed as he most always does. This wasn't the mcdonalds parking lot mind you.

He likes swords too.

So folks the Conman is currently residing in Huaraz, and diggen the high life. More to come later. This is cdub and I'm out like a porch light in the ghetto.

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Good evening my peeps. Well its been a rather busy week of news but we'll get to that in later episodes. Tonights webcast is devoted completely to true love part deux. So lets just get right into it.

After the fairy tale wedding, AOLPimp had to jet out of Oregon to make some money to support his new family in Alaska. So after bidding adieu in Seattle, AOLPimp and Cbombz parted ways momentarily. It was a sad day watching the pimp leave on the S.S. Cera, but absence does make the heart grow fonder.



After growing sadder by the day Cbombz got some great news, the pimp's vessel needed some supplies and was stopping off in her hometown of Chugiak, AK. Many of you may know of this city, if you don't, you must have missed Cbombz drop knowledge of this Anchorage suburb about 1.2 Billion times. Naturally Cbombz picked her favorite airline, TIM Air. See Cbombz experiences discomfort on other carriers like United and Alaska, and prefers to ride TIM for the renound turbulence.


It's gonna get a little bumpy.

In a weird side story, TIMAir had to redirect its flight pattern north and approach southbound to land. Maybe you can help me solve this weird coincidence.


Quite an unusual flight pattern, I presume.

Well needless to say, those two crazy kids are in for a world of adventure and I wish them the best.

Oh and there is a moral to this story. We here at Cdub Presents take pride in our reporting and weblogging, and as the hijacker of this site, I don't take kindly to people telling me that I may have to relinquish control of this site back to Blackjack. All you have to do is look at the November 17th post and see that I jacked this site and made myself the Fuhrer, and in doing so control everything about the blackjack site. So be careful in your statements, or the Cdub could be coming for.....

You get the idea.

For Cdub Presents, This is Cdub wishing you all the best, I'm out like a fat kid in dodgeball.
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