Wednesday, November 17, 2004
After viewing all the election hysteria I decided that the Bud House, or Budwysar, needs to secede from the union and become a private nation. However, since we hate AOLPimp and all his socialist propaganda, it has been decided that while still a republic, Budwysar will not hold any elections and will become more of an authoritarian state. So who to make president? Well as the president of Bud House meetings, I have decided to assume the role and appoint my entire cabinet. While similar to your United States Government cabinet, the Budwysar cabinet has much more prestigious positions.
What a proud bunch
First order of business. Appoint a Vice-President who will also act as the Bud House Chief of Staff. After running through the candidates I have decided that J-bone will be my chief of staff and VP. Blackjack and the nutz were in the running till i realized that D-nutz in a time of emergency will lock his door and seek refuge in his bomb-shelter of a room. Blackjack on the other hand was a close call but in a times of crisis, Such as a Budwysar Kitchen Malfunction (where dishes simply refuse to be washed on their own accord) BJ erupts and starts spouting off german gibberish and saluting a cardboard cut-out of Hitler in his room. So congratulations J-bone on being the only minority in my cabinet.
Next order was to create a Budwysar Security Adviser. I couldn't think of a better candidate than Mr. Nipples. Nipples seems to love punching things, especially that bag hanging outside our house that talks to his girlfriend everytime he isn't looking. After viewing what happened to the bag, nobody else will protect Budwysar better than nipples.
On to a new position I created for our proud nation: Chief of Cleanliness. I'm not even goin to talk about this one as Blackjack comprises every aspect of this secretarial position, mostly the complaining part.
Secretary of Sleep - Dnutz. Just visit his room any day of the week for a little nap. When not destroying his brain with computer data dnutz likes to sleep with all his clothes on and the bedroom at about 75 degrees.
Secretary of Youth - Mr.Faie#5. Who better to shape the minds of young America than Mr.faie#5. He will be working closely with a man I recently met, Captaindrewsky. Both men coach jr. high volleyball, and in an off the record account have agreed to supply my chief of cleanliness numerous dates he can hit on and teach weasel care.
Secretary of Immigration - Morgrondefenderofstupid. I agreed to let morgron take this position contingent on him not allowing anyone of Italian descent to enter beautiful Budwysar. No papers, no entrance.
Joint directors of National Qwetzel Control Policy - Internuggler and G-skizzle. I leave happy and starving everytime I meet these gentleman for a meeting on our current state of affairs.
Secretary of War - AOLPimp and C-bombz. As I detest war unless absolutely necessary, I appointed two people who just can't stop arguing with each other to decide if we go to war. They will disagree with each other on everything leaving me to decide bombing Mississippi and Napoli is absolutely necessary.
Attorney General - Makoshark. I have been known to break occasional laws and with Blackjack on my staff we will need all the legal counsel we can get.
Secretary of Pabst - Hagmeezerelli. Every time I meet with this man it rains PBR. Always down to get crazy, hagmeez was my appointment to shake some things up in the cabinet. No doubt the attorney general will be needed to cover up some crazy hagmizzel nights.
Ambassador of Balding - Selfishowen. I appoint the mole to stop this ghastly epidemic. I deem it a national security issue, and will do everything from making my head resemble a cue ball.
Fast Food Czar - Dnutz. Just come to the house anytime between 7 and 9 PM, and you'll see Dnutz gorging on some arby's or Burger King. In fact, on numerous occasions the nutz has been known to visit both mcdonalds and wendys to settle joint accounts he has with both. Apparently they make him offers he just can't refuse.
Secretary of Stupid - Thestork. The only returning cabinet member from yoshmcrein's cabinet. Sometimes it hurts my head to listen to what people have heard from magazines.
Secretary of the South - A-train. I consider the south another national security measure and will work closely with A-train to find a way to make these states somehow go away.
Secretary of Making Me Food - Jax. Every time this little azn cooks a feast I end up getting all the beautiful leftovers. SO why not offer her a job.
Thank you my citizens keep on trucken, and God Bless Budwysar.
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What a proud bunch
First order of business. Appoint a Vice-President who will also act as the Bud House Chief of Staff. After running through the candidates I have decided that J-bone will be my chief of staff and VP. Blackjack and the nutz were in the running till i realized that D-nutz in a time of emergency will lock his door and seek refuge in his bomb-shelter of a room. Blackjack on the other hand was a close call but in a times of crisis, Such as a Budwysar Kitchen Malfunction (where dishes simply refuse to be washed on their own accord) BJ erupts and starts spouting off german gibberish and saluting a cardboard cut-out of Hitler in his room. So congratulations J-bone on being the only minority in my cabinet.
Next order was to create a Budwysar Security Adviser. I couldn't think of a better candidate than Mr. Nipples. Nipples seems to love punching things, especially that bag hanging outside our house that talks to his girlfriend everytime he isn't looking. After viewing what happened to the bag, nobody else will protect Budwysar better than nipples.
On to a new position I created for our proud nation: Chief of Cleanliness. I'm not even goin to talk about this one as Blackjack comprises every aspect of this secretarial position, mostly the complaining part.
Secretary of Sleep - Dnutz. Just visit his room any day of the week for a little nap. When not destroying his brain with computer data dnutz likes to sleep with all his clothes on and the bedroom at about 75 degrees.
Secretary of Youth - Mr.Faie#5. Who better to shape the minds of young America than Mr.faie#5. He will be working closely with a man I recently met, Captaindrewsky. Both men coach jr. high volleyball, and in an off the record account have agreed to supply my chief of cleanliness numerous dates he can hit on and teach weasel care.
Secretary of Immigration - Morgrondefenderofstupid. I agreed to let morgron take this position contingent on him not allowing anyone of Italian descent to enter beautiful Budwysar. No papers, no entrance.
Joint directors of National Qwetzel Control Policy - Internuggler and G-skizzle. I leave happy and starving everytime I meet these gentleman for a meeting on our current state of affairs.
Secretary of War - AOLPimp and C-bombz. As I detest war unless absolutely necessary, I appointed two people who just can't stop arguing with each other to decide if we go to war. They will disagree with each other on everything leaving me to decide bombing Mississippi and Napoli is absolutely necessary.
Attorney General - Makoshark. I have been known to break occasional laws and with Blackjack on my staff we will need all the legal counsel we can get.
Secretary of Pabst - Hagmeezerelli. Every time I meet with this man it rains PBR. Always down to get crazy, hagmeez was my appointment to shake some things up in the cabinet. No doubt the attorney general will be needed to cover up some crazy hagmizzel nights.
Ambassador of Balding - Selfishowen. I appoint the mole to stop this ghastly epidemic. I deem it a national security issue, and will do everything from making my head resemble a cue ball.
Fast Food Czar - Dnutz. Just come to the house anytime between 7 and 9 PM, and you'll see Dnutz gorging on some arby's or Burger King. In fact, on numerous occasions the nutz has been known to visit both mcdonalds and wendys to settle joint accounts he has with both. Apparently they make him offers he just can't refuse.
Secretary of Stupid - Thestork. The only returning cabinet member from yoshmcrein's cabinet. Sometimes it hurts my head to listen to what people have heard from magazines.
Secretary of the South - A-train. I consider the south another national security measure and will work closely with A-train to find a way to make these states somehow go away.
Secretary of Making Me Food - Jax. Every time this little azn cooks a feast I end up getting all the beautiful leftovers. SO why not offer her a job.
Thank you my citizens keep on trucken, and God Bless Budwysar.
Comments:
The people of Budwysar rejoice in the homecoming of their new fuhrer/ president. Besides, who likes the dentists? Not to mention the Blacks and the Jews?.
excellent! pure magic!
I give this post a rating of 4 dog poops out of 5.
I just hope no one on the internet stumbles across this page randomly because they may be a tad confused.
I give this post a rating of 4 dog poops out of 5.
I just hope no one on the internet stumbles across this page randomly because they may be a tad confused.
Well done, young president C-Dub. I look forward to being a part of the nation of Budwysar again in the near future. My moving date is the 1st of December, and will likely be in your area shortly thereafter. Prepare for the return of the Secretary of Pabst. He's older, and he goes to bed earlier... but he's still not afraid to get loaded and fornicate with any number of ladies of the night. Word em up.
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE BANNED AT CALIF. SCHOOL!
(http://www.reuters.com/printerFriendlyPopup.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=6911883)
Fucking Californians
(http://www.reuters.com/printerFriendlyPopup.jhtml?type=topNews&storyID=6911883)
Fucking Californians
They didn't ban the declaration, they just banned one moron teacher from distributing God-oriented materials. The dumb fuck was probably trying to indoctrinate his students, so they had to cut him off.
As the Ambassador of Balding I urge the Prez to have Hair appreciation day. This day all members of the Bud House nation must shave their heads in order to better understand the plight of the bald man. I suggest this day be held during the winter months to better aid the understanding that it's FUCKING COLD WHEN THERE'S NO HAIR ON ME FUCKING HEAD!
-Selfish0wen
Ambassador of Balding
-Selfish0wen
Ambassador of Balding
