Monday, August 30, 2004

I'm back bitches, and saltier than ever. By the way you mother fuckers can suck my dick for fucking hacking into my website you mother fuckers. But any fuckin' way, i've been down in Myrtle Creek fighting a fire. I only got to shower once in eight fuckin' days. Now i'm back and ready to kick some ass. I'm going to find the little fuckin' hacker nerd that messed with my shit and show him how we take care of mother fuckers that fuck with me. I'm not fuckin' messin' around no more mother fuckers.

Fuck Bush, that fuckin' dumbass bitch.
Fuckin' Kerry sucks dick too. Fuckin' pussy got a little shaprnel and now he whines about his three fuckin' medals. Boo hoo, fuckin' cry baby.
Nader? who the fuck is Nader.

Salty Blackjack Joke of the Day: What is so great about fucking twenty-eight years olds?
Answer: There are twenty of them.

If you don't get it then you're a fuckin' dumbass.

Comments:
For all of you not in the know Mr. Blackjack is 160 pounds of fury!! He can bring the pain with his mighty guns of...steel, yeah guns of STEEL BABY!

-o0weno
 
we all still know you are a homo fag ssur!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
 
it seems we know who you butt fuckin buddy is!!!!!!
owen at least russ was man or homo enough to come out of the closet, i bet you like to play with his GUN when it is like STEEL you fuckin faggot!!!!!!
 
How about a new damn post!

J-Unit
 
learn how to spell you fucking dumb ass. people like you shouldn't be allowed to speak in public. go back to iraq
 
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Thursday, August 19, 2004

Selfish Owen is back in town after pimpin' it out on the East Coast for the last couple of years. He is currently living in P-Town and hopefully will be my roommate in the future. To celebrate his return we decided to hold a Century Club.

Century Club Alumni were present, including:Blackjack, Selfish Owen, D-Nutz, and Mighty Joe.
Nipples and A-Train had never done it and gave it a try but unfortunately they didn't have the Frat background the rest of us did. They ended up having to bow out early. D-Nutz set a new Century Club record by puking after only 20 shots(That is less than two beers) and yet still managed to finish.

Drinking Hats were required for all participants.

The Pale Crew

If you can stomach it, check out dnutz's Spew.


Comments:
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Friday, August 13, 2004

What makes me think the Ducks are going to have a great year? Well let me explain . . .

There are several key pieces of evidence that have surfaced in the past couple months that lead me to believe that the Ducks are willing to do whatever is necessary in order to have a dominate football team. Basically you need three things in order have a desirable team and entice players to come to your school: Coaching, Facilities, and Recruiting. We have a great coach who could play in the NFL if he really wanted, so that is covered. We have some of the best facilities in the nation with a locker room that cost about as much as Autzen Stadium did when it was originally built. And last but not least Recruiting, it seems to me that we have turned into one of those teams that gets the good players, and then somehow those same good players magically find a new car in the garage, or a set of iced out earings the size of baseballs just fell out the sky and landed on their ears. I don't know who is paying for this stuff but we all know you can't get the stars unless you gots da free cars. We are currently under probation because for using illegal recruiting procedures.

But what really makes me think we are going to have a good year? Every good year has a good start and how can it get better than having one of your incoming freshman stars from De La Salle high school getting SHOT days before leaving for school in Oregon. It was just like the movie "Boys in the Hood", a star athelete who worked hard and was able to earn a scholarship and get himself out of the ghetto. But the ghetto doesn't let you leave, oh no, blood in, blood out nigga. Terrance Kelly, one of four De La Salle players the ducks picked up was gunned down outside of his brothers house early this morning in Richmond, CA.


R.I.P Terrance Kelly

How can it get any better? Felons and gangbangers iced up in their Lex's and Caddie's are just what this team needs if they are going to win a championship.

(Just go with it, be positive, don't worry about the fact that our d-backs are short and slow, and how we just lost our future star safety. Do what Blackjack does, ignore the problem and eventually it will just go away.)

Comments:
Wow thats cold.
 
IMPORTANT:
Budhouse,
You guys MUST pay the EWEB bill ASAP. They tried taking money out of my account, but there wasn't enough. Russ do me a favor and open up the EWEB bill and get that money together and have somebody write a check and send it ASAP. I still need money from last month! My jeep is in the shop and it will cost me over $500 to get fixed. I can't pick it up until you guys pay the electric bill!!!!

Sorry for putting this on your blog, but you guys need to realize the importance of this issue, you can erase this BJ, but make sure this information is past out!

J-Unit
 
ice cold bitches, it aint no thang in the ghetto. -nuggler
 
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Thursday, August 12, 2004

So i am sitting here thinking about my disability, aka my thumb that does not work. To some it may be funny that my thumb is about as stiff and wooden as John Kerry, but it really urcks me to think that now i might not be able to throw the football as well as C-Dub or Tim (actually just Tim because C-Dub sucks at throwing footballs). While thinking about my disability I thought of two things: 1) PUSH America is Evil, Tim will agree, and 2) Li'l Kim has a temporary disability called "I just got out of surgery and can only eat Jello and Mashed Potatos." While I do enjoy Jello and Mashed potatos, i do feel bad for Kimmy and hope that she gets better soon.


This was taken back when i visited Kimmy in Salem, the state capital.

I felt bad for C-Dub for awhile, because he isn't disabled but he does suck at throwing a football, but realized that no matter how much i prayed (yes, Tim, God is real and he hates you) C-Dub will never be able to throw the ball as well as i do, or as well as Ken Dorsey, who went to his high school, but i'm sure C-Dub has told you that story already. NO? well let me tell you:

C-Dub(in a Chucky voice): Hi, my name is C-Dub, and i'll be your friend 'till the end, hahaha, let's play, . . . did i mention i used to play football in high school with Ken Dorsey?

This has been a fun Blog to write because it is seven in the morning and i am still awake and a little bit drunk. I won 23 bucks last night at poker so i feel great. (Have you notice that i have used a lot of parenthises? they are so much more funny when you are drunk)

Comments:
Hey BlackJack,

Your new girlfriend is a hottie. She got sisters?

J-Mama
 
(WOW)

mr.b
 
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
why am i the team mascot? just because i'm a goal line stopper? thats bullshit

also, you should look into this concept called paragraphs.
 
I'm back bitches, and rather than create a blog, i've decided my time can be much more adequately spent as the fact police and producer of the E! True Eugene Story. So i'll just add on to his, like the terrorist unabomber i am.

C-Dub
 
You should look into the concept of shutting the hell up.
 
Its not my fault your eyes waggle all over the place and you can't focus more than 3.2 seconds. Get some glasses poindexter.
 
GLASSES CANT HELP MY WIGGLEY EYES OK! maybe you should get a new thumb. mine bends both ways, so hah!
 
Dang that's one hot chick on your website Blackjack!!!
- Lil' Kim
 
You must read this article. I believe it harbors all of our hopes and dreams...well..all of us but Morgron and the closet-republo J-bone..

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4032
 
So I have a blog now...you can get to it by clicking on my name..i think..give it a try, otherwise its just www.cerapie.blogspot.com. Its not nearly as entertaing as blackjacks, d-nutz', or internuggler, but i guess if you are so bored you wanna poke your eyes out, give it a view...

Cera*
 
Way to go CDub, I love it when someone has the guts to report the truth. I can confirm this entire story as I was witness to the entire episode involving sissy-boy Blackjack, with his constant desire to go to the hospital to find out what was wrong...what a little girl! Just put some ice on it is what we said. (which turned out to be the right advice, I might add) Now as for Cera...don't drag me into your narrow minded, media blinded, (thats right I can rhyme like Jesse Jackson too) liberalism. And never try to use the Onion as support to your commie ways with its ridiculous headlines like, "U.S. Military Clears A-Team
Of Charges". I mean come on, unwrap your arms around a tree, pull your head out of your ass and check out this website to begin your transformation back to reality, "www.swiftvets.com", and after you are done there, if you have the guts, you can check out "www.rushlimbaugh.com", to further your studies into the truth. But enough about politics...for now. If you have not noticed, I may have caught election fever and am a little more willing to participate in political discussions. Well I think I have ranted a little to long so...I'm out.
P.S. Go Bush or Go Home!

-Morgron
 
Time for an E! True Eugene Story on tha Blackjack, and the infamous broken thumb incident. On a sunny day in Eugene, perfect for football, Russell was thrown into the game by the masterful coach cdubalicious. After throwing 7 tds and moving balls downfield faster than dwighter on any asian (vietnamese or chinese), cdub called for a replacement, and cbombs, the masterful assistant coach, eyed the cowboy hat wearing whitest man alive. As anyone that white probably hasn't seen sun in about 34 years, it became apparent that just like little league, everyone's gotta play. What cbombs didn't take into account was that Russ's body was much more fragile than any little leaguers. So lets head to the videotape where quen and mighty joe were announcing the game. "Blackjack has been thrown in to the game, lets look for any stats on the jack, shall we quen." "Well Joe it seems blackjack hasn't played since a game against Porltand Rugby players where he played one play and threw an interception, so his stats read 0-1-0-1, which equals out to one attempt, zero completions, zero touchdowns, and one interception, Quite possibly the worst qb rating every amounted to by one single human being." "thanks ken, that seems pretty attrocious, why would cbombs bring in russ at a pivotal moment like this." "Well joe everyone's gotta play and little blackjack's gotta heart of gold, an arm like a girl, but a heart of gold all the way." "Ok so here goes russ chorlton." "looks like an eye formation with three receivers split out right, blackjack back to pass, he's got plenty of time, smiler breaks away in to the endzone, but oh no russ doesn't see how open he is, morgan tigli has found an opening in the middle equally wide open, but still no sight from blackjack. Wait oh no seems russ has zoned in on a little golden lab running the sidelines." "blackjack rolls right and yes he is in fact throwing to the mangy mutt 16 yards outt of bounds." "Oh wait ken, looks like russ is hurt on the play." "Lets go down to our sideline reporter, trish takanawa, to see what the problem was." "well boys, i just spoke with blackjack and he confirmed it, his body is weaker than a 12 year old girl, and if we look at the instant replay it will be confirmed. Looks like blackjack while throwing barely touches a defenders hand and will be out for 4 years as a result." "Just doesnt know how to play through pain does he trish." "Well how can you joe, when your penis is the size of a peanut." "Whoa trish back to the game, now why did blackjack throw to a dog as opposed to one of his 5 wide open receivers." "Good question joe, after speaking with blackjack it seems apparent that this is just part of his canine fetish. See blackjack has a dog named scout that he used to molest as a child, and now he just misses its company, far more than any girls or plants. Furthermore, his plant article in this very blog, we believe is just a cover-up for his unadulterated passion for canines of the opposite sex." "Wow trish, great leg work, the other qb c-dub, and team mascot dnutz both have dogs, do you believe that russ may have defiled them as well." "well joe authorities are still investigating those circumstances but we shall soon find out." "Anyway back to the game, seems cbombs has put in a more adequate backup qb, tv legend 49 year old gary coleman." "A far better choice at this juncture of the game wouldn't you agree quen." "boy howdy.".....

That was just a portion of the E! True Eugene Story on the author of this very blog. Somebody has to know the truth.
 
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

So nobody has heard from C-Dub in awhile. He has been in California now for about a month and had been keeping in regular contact until recently. We have come up with a few situations as to what might have happened . . .

1. C-Dub has always considered himself to be "ethnic". This could have gotten him in trouble if he was speaking jive in Oaktown. If so, he is probably dead.

2. C-Dub has escaped to Chi-town and is now living with his brother ConMan, and has left all of here to cover his rent payments

3. The legend had enuf and bought a plane ticket to ol' Mexico to work out a few demons.

4. Ron Jeremy heard of the legend and has asked him to be his protege.

5. C-Dub is under the mind control of Shannon, who is making him eat protein and have lots of family time where marshmallows are thrown at each other. Don't ask me why, this is just one of those crazy things his family does. Want stranger than that? Ask him how his family takes a crap! It is hilarious!

So we decided to find out more . . .

We called Ron Jeremy and he is busy shooting a porn with Mary Kate and Ashley and hasn't seen C-Dub or the legend in some time. We then called up ConMan in Chi-Towns to ask if maybe C-Dub was visiting for the weekend, but ConMan said it was just him and some NY fan he had kidnapped and put in his closet. (This whole kidnapping and closet thing seems to be catching on, maybe i started a fad). Lastly we tried to reach CassieDD. She wrote me back a letter about how she had found a new love. This new guy supposedly makes the legend look more like a fairy tale. Too bad for C-Dub. She also sent me this photo to prove that she was having a great time with her new boyfriend.


CassieDD looks to be licking head at the beach . . .

So we have decided this is what happened. C-Dub found out that CassieDD was gone forever and has given up on life. He chopped off the Legend and moved to Barbados to live with 2pac in seclusion.

Recently there have been myths about C-Dub spottings but most end up to be just some other guy with a large head. But the search continues. We have hired a sketch artist and have come up with a picture of what C-Dub may look like today.



If you have seen this man let me know, I need a haircut badly.



Comments:
i have been noticing that comments have been getting removed by "the blog administrator" quite often lately why? it's not fun!!!! knock it the fuck off russ!!!!!!!!! good blog though

mr.b
 
hahahah, nice post jack
 
Great blog,

I knew smoking a bowl would bring out the creativity in BJ.

J-Unit
 
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
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Monday, August 09, 2004

The world has been crashing down around me lately. The world is turning against me. Now instead of it being myself who doesn't return OTHERS' phone calls, everyone else doesn't return MY phone calls and text messages. You know who you are. Not only have i been extremely bored, but my internet has not been working lately. Anyway i haven't been doin' shit, imagine that, but i have been doing a lot of searching the net since i got my information superhighway back. Check out this clip, i hope when tim gets his video camera we can make i-movies, that would be fun.

You got served

C-Dub: Launch Blog on catapult one.
BJ: Catapult one is down sir.
C-Dub: Well how long until we get it up.
BJ: Ten minutes sir.
C-Dub: TEN minutes! This blog will be over in TWO minutes.

Comments:
awesome link... i really like the part where the big dudes brush that dirt off they shoulda, pop thier colla, and then spin around like whoop there it is
 
chi-town?! its beantown for me bitches! and chuck has yet to be seen on this coast. but hey, the Bus is always welcome...
 
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Friday, August 06, 2004

Today is the day i do something different. I am not sure how to do this but it must be done. Think, think, think. C'mon BJ, think of something. Well, nothing is coming to mind, what a suprise. Let me list what i am thinking of doing. If you have any ideas for me please comment . . .

1. Sleep. No, i do enuf of that already.

2. Eat. I'm going to do that anyway, duh.

3. Clean-up my house. Good idea. And this gets me . . . . oh yeah, nowhere.

4. Call up friends and ask what they are doing. Great for reminding yourself how bored you are here alone in eugene.

5. Go for a walk. Where? Off a cliff? you wish CassieDD. You don't fuckin' know me.

6. Be creative, paint a picture. With what? you don't have any art supplies.

7. Get drunk. Never done that before. Just what i need to do, get drunk AGAIN. That will help . . . or not.

8. Float down the river. I have the rafts, but nobody wants to float and/or they are in P-Town livin' it up at the bars w/o Blackjack. Ah, i miss Club 15 in P-Town.

9. Shoot yourself. That would just make a mess, and you know my roommates. The mess would just sit on the ground for months until somebody's girlfriend (SuperSexyShari or J to the First) got sick of my decaying corpse and cleaned me up with a dirty mop and some napkins from Wendy's (wich also make great toilet paper when you run out)

10. Blog about how bored you are. Well, i might as well. Do you think anyone is still reading this? Maybe someone is as bored as i am. Sorry my blog has been sucking a lot. I know what it is like to be bored and all you want is to hear a good story. Well, continue on with your boredness. I'm with ya brutha (or sister, whatever you are).

Well, that didn't really solve anything . . . oh well.

Shout out to Lil' Kim who can't taste a juicy steak or bite into a big cheeseburger because she is stuck in bed eating jello.

Quote of the Day: "Pussy, don't trust it just thrust it." - Boogie (how enlightening)


Check out http://www.amazingcatcollection.com


Comments:
hey you wrote a blog how conciderate. i like the cat picture its cool. but the quote of the day is the best!

mr.b
 
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Blackjack - many of us are as bored as you....think of me in hicksville. Some fat rednecks in a big blue truck "hollered" at me today - I think that was the most exciting thing that happened
 
I'm sorry, fat rednecks are no fun.
 
Nice Blog BJ,

Try smoking a bowl. That should do the trick.
 
i second that
 
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Monday, August 02, 2004

Saturday was a great night for killing brain cells. It was also Amanda Hugandkiss's last night in Eugene. She is going to Kentucky to visit her grandparents (and see the home of the great Colonel Sanders, damn that chicken is good). Anyway, this Blog update is dedicated to Ms. Hugandkiss. Hopefully this will make up for a very drunken Blackjack. He is also known to plague parties in the form of a bat.


So a blond, a brunette and a red head throw a party . . .


The boys of summer.


Girls just want to have fun . . . But these girls wanted some dick.


Amanda Hugandkiss a.k.a "Demanda"told me it was her god damned party and she could do what she wanted to. I think this guy was all about it.


When the boyfriend isn't looking you can get away with anything.


Yes! Lesbians. That is so cool.


These party girls didn't seem to be too happy with the man selection at the party. If only i could clone myself, all women would be happy. Ok, maybe not, but i'm trying to stay positive so shove it.

And if this isn't enuf pictures and you "Demanda" more . . .

Strike a pose
Gotcha
Dancing1
How Cute
Dancing2
Couple1
Couple2

Comments:
Morgan get a life!! What the hell man, you don't answer you phone so you can play computer games all day. Wow, welcome to married Morgan life

Is this a fantasy football smack talking site?

J-Unit
 
fantasy football is for sports nerds, who, as everyone knows, are much geekier than computer nerds
 
computer nerds > sports nerds 4 sure...
also, couple2 - this picture made me barf a little bit into my own mouth.
 
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
You appear to be a real out of touch douche bag (utensil used to hold vaginal cleaners), why don't you think of someone other than your self once in a while?? The more selfish and self-centered you are the less and less your'e gonna get from the Universe. Hope you can pull your head outta yer ass long enough to see that women are not to be refered to as bitches and hoes. And that there is alot more to life than what your little pea brain knowas of life today
 
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Sunday, August 01, 2004

Another day gone by and nothing accomplished. I did however find a decent site for flash animations. Here are some samples especially for you:

Internuggler: Lego-Stoners. Nuff Said.
Lil' Kim: Notice what is wrong in this one? Look close! It gives you an audio hint after like thirty seconds so make sure your sound is on. Once you see it you will find it hilarious. Or not?
D-Nutz: Barbie because you will like the back beat.
C-Dub: Because you are Ghetto.
Stork: I don't know why but you get this one. Here.
Nipples: I know you want to kill people some day.

BTW, Monday night is Ladies Night at the Em's Game. Wanna go? Hit me up.

Comments:
Hahaha very funny!! That link scared the piss out of me!! LoL "make sure your sound is on" You'll get yours Blackjack!! ;)
-Lil' Kim
 
I can't stop playing the suicide bomber game. I don't know why this is so much fun.---Morgron
 
dude your shit be wacked like a mo fo
 
snoochie boo cheese was like dude den me be like dude den he be bangin like dude then me be shitin like dude ur so ugly you make onions cry
 
dude bushwacked be kickin the bucket on like d lettuce on flee bay
 
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