Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Good afternoon Eugene, my name is C-Dub and I will be filling in for the absent Blackjack in hosting this special edition of Blackjack Presents. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Blackjack who was caught conducting a Weasel Care Workshop to the children of Roosevelt Middle. The children maintain that Blackjack, dressed in his BennytheBear Costume, simply spoke out on the proper techniques of weasel care. However several polaroids have surfaced portraying Blackjack scritching and yiffing amongst a vast "furpile." While new polaroids continue to be brought to our attention, we here at Blackjack Presents maintain our faith in the justice system and our belief that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Unless you're OJ.
Unfortunately for Blackjack this girl was 14 years old.
Now on to tonights top story. Tonight our focus is on the phenomenom commonly known as fantasy football, and its influence on society. Recently, several scathing accusations have been made against the popular event. As one blogger stated, "Fantasy football makes me angry. It's like sports for nerds, or nerdishness for jocks, or a waste of time for the easily amused." Now thats just plain stupid. While people like myself are generally easily amused:
Who wouldn't want to see Lord Littlebrook, Little Beaver, and Sky Low Low in an epic grudge match. The fact remains that more craziness comes from fantasy football than any other internet subject, aside from beautiful luscious porn.
I decided to reference one of the biggest fantasy nerds in the world, the captain of this blog and my producer, Blackjack himself. Blackjack's undying devotion to fantasy football was shown to me when instead of calling a lawyer or his family, when incarcerated in Attica State Prison, he decided to call me and ask how his fantasy football team did. Since I report nothing but the truth all day I was forced to tell the jack that his team had been mercilessly destroyed by some team named the assclowns. This further saddened Blackjack as his ass had just been clowned that very morning, making this a particularly rough day.
Blackjack doesn't like to lose fantasy or his manhood.
Now I had successfully provided an illustration of the pain and emotion that results from fantasy football. But we need more, so on to my next location, Coos Bay, where unlike Blackjack's closet, children are taught adequate and plentiful lessons on life. So I talked to another fantasy geek, a Mr.Faie#5, to get some of his perspective on fantasy football. While his team of Unluck once again is off to a losing season, he did show me some pictures of last years most memorable moments.
When the Pennington Man Shall Pass, Fay becomes one happy camper.
Unfortunately, most of the time the pennington man can't pass, and you have to watch out for radiation that leaks from Mr.Faie#5's exploded head.
Blackjack still has a tumor in his arm from this blast.
Lastly to show how profound a camraderie develops over the course of the 17 week season, all you have to do is visit the Bud House on Sundays. You'll probably hear C-Bombs screams, that even drown out the ones from Blackjack's closet. You'll see SF WOP tell you all about how he could play in the NFL, NHL, NBA, and Kentucky Derby. You may see a hat toss, a J-Bone faulty analysis, an angrycomplainingbitter D-Nutz who just wants to watch the Science Channel, or if you're lucky and he gets out of prison, a C-Dub teabagging a Blackjack. All in all people, Bud House on Sundays is the hot spot to be, and my pick for vacation spot of the year. So venture on down and don't forget to bring some Zout cuz it needs a little cleaning.
In the end I've decided the only way we can decide this debate is to have a rumble. So I call on you DNutz, and your team at Hardliquid News, to meet us at Blackjack Presents behind the parking lot at the old school yard where we will settle this once and for all. So tune in next week for clips of the rumble and our EyeONEugene Exclusive where we find out once and for all, What is In Blackjack's Closet. I'm C-Dub, and Go Fuck yourself Eugene.
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Unfortunately for Blackjack this girl was 14 years old.
Now on to tonights top story. Tonight our focus is on the phenomenom commonly known as fantasy football, and its influence on society. Recently, several scathing accusations have been made against the popular event. As one blogger stated, "Fantasy football makes me angry. It's like sports for nerds, or nerdishness for jocks, or a waste of time for the easily amused." Now thats just plain stupid. While people like myself are generally easily amused:
Who wouldn't want to see Lord Littlebrook, Little Beaver, and Sky Low Low in an epic grudge match. The fact remains that more craziness comes from fantasy football than any other internet subject, aside from beautiful luscious porn.
I decided to reference one of the biggest fantasy nerds in the world, the captain of this blog and my producer, Blackjack himself. Blackjack's undying devotion to fantasy football was shown to me when instead of calling a lawyer or his family, when incarcerated in Attica State Prison, he decided to call me and ask how his fantasy football team did. Since I report nothing but the truth all day I was forced to tell the jack that his team had been mercilessly destroyed by some team named the assclowns. This further saddened Blackjack as his ass had just been clowned that very morning, making this a particularly rough day.
Blackjack doesn't like to lose fantasy or his manhood.
Now I had successfully provided an illustration of the pain and emotion that results from fantasy football. But we need more, so on to my next location, Coos Bay, where unlike Blackjack's closet, children are taught adequate and plentiful lessons on life. So I talked to another fantasy geek, a Mr.Faie#5, to get some of his perspective on fantasy football. While his team of Unluck once again is off to a losing season, he did show me some pictures of last years most memorable moments.
When the Pennington Man Shall Pass, Fay becomes one happy camper.
Unfortunately, most of the time the pennington man can't pass, and you have to watch out for radiation that leaks from Mr.Faie#5's exploded head.
Blackjack still has a tumor in his arm from this blast.
Lastly to show how profound a camraderie develops over the course of the 17 week season, all you have to do is visit the Bud House on Sundays. You'll probably hear C-Bombs screams, that even drown out the ones from Blackjack's closet. You'll see SF WOP tell you all about how he could play in the NFL, NHL, NBA, and Kentucky Derby. You may see a hat toss, a J-Bone faulty analysis, an angrycomplainingbitter D-Nutz who just wants to watch the Science Channel, or if you're lucky and he gets out of prison, a C-Dub teabagging a Blackjack. All in all people, Bud House on Sundays is the hot spot to be, and my pick for vacation spot of the year. So venture on down and don't forget to bring some Zout cuz it needs a little cleaning.
In the end I've decided the only way we can decide this debate is to have a rumble. So I call on you DNutz, and your team at Hardliquid News, to meet us at Blackjack Presents behind the parking lot at the old school yard where we will settle this once and for all. So tune in next week for clips of the rumble and our EyeONEugene Exclusive where we find out once and for all, What is In Blackjack's Closet. I'm C-Dub, and Go Fuck yourself Eugene.
Comments:
Beautiful...I will definately be there to represent the nerdish jocks or the jocky nerds, depending on if i have my busted ass glasses on or not. And all i can say to defend myself is that I am just passionate...and I don't get laid often, so I need to get my screams out somewhere. I'll post to my blog tonight about the epic battle between A-train and I...
Cheers...
Cera*
Cheers...
Cera*
http://www.collegehumor.com/?image_id=73606
Russ, if you still wanna sell your soul to Bush *cough* i mean the devil, take a look at that girl...you can't tell me she isn't hot.
Russ, if you still wanna sell your soul to Bush *cough* i mean the devil, take a look at that girl...you can't tell me she isn't hot.
you should take that bloody rag out from between your legs and do something with your blog/life you lazy fucking bastard! people demand blog action this means they like it. oh boy people like you ssur oh my god you life is worth living. WRITE A FUCKING BLOG OR GET RID OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sorry you are too busy giving blowjobs while getting a dick shoved up your ass you gay homo sexual fagget, i forgot about your choice of life styles.
c-dub poor job of taking over the blog if the donald saw it you would be FIRED! oh ya SCRUBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mr.b
c-dub poor job of taking over the blog if the donald saw it you would be FIRED! oh ya SCRUBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mr.b
there once was this snake, he liked to live in a lake, while he ate cake, but he was a big ass flake. he tryed to go on a date but he showed to late so now he doesnt have mate. her name was kate, but thats ok, he didnt have a dick and he was a big fat fucking prick. he once tryed religion but he was racist, there was a fucking pigeon. his best friend lockness liked to press issues of the "lakeside journel" but one day he was using the urinal. so the snake jumped onto a log in the fog, ate a dog, and talked to a frog.
so you are left wondering what the moral is to this asque story. well you tell me.
mr.b
so you are left wondering what the moral is to this asque story. well you tell me.
mr.b
I think its time for Mr. B to lay off the drugs. Thats two insane posts in a row. Has the Bud house turned into a meth house? --->Morgron
So I am going to write just for the hell of it! (morgronA) I think we are the only people who look at this site anymore. Its a lost cause unless we write. anyhoo.
As you know I am not exactly the most political person in the world, but I do have very strong opinions.
I care for neither presidential canidate they are both walking talking piles of shit but this is the U.S.A. We just wouldnt be they same if we didn't have some babbling moron to be the figure head for this wonderful nation of ours.
So I have a fucking crappy back because WOMEN CAN'T DRIVE!!!!!!!(I was rear ended by a woman when i was stopped, twice within a nine month period) But i have been thinking about it more and more lately because it is getting worse and the only current way to fix it (in this country) is through surgery. I will not have surgery, I am to young. If I lived in Germany I would have no problems with my back. Why? Glad you asked. The L5 disc in my back is severly deteriorated. In Germany (were they have no limitation on stem cell reasearch) they have developed a way to regrow your spinal tissues. They can draw spinal fluid out of your disc and culture it in a peetry dish then inject it back into your disc. The new cells then take over and pass the genetic coding to the cells that are already there telling them to grow/regrow your disc. The point is we are a stinking filthy rich nation that has enough money to buy the world and we limit ourselves when it comes to some types of reasearch because of stupid ethical and moral reasons. Ethical and moral does not exactly discribe America. Why should we stop something that could change so many lives not just by cureing a diease, but by fixing people with problems. I do not just want to take drugs to make the pain go away and make me feel like superman. I will just get cocky lift shit and make it worse, and be in real big trouble after that. All this got me thinking about stem cell research.
I believe very strongly about not limiting stem cell research. I don't care that we grow an embryo for study and not life. Fuck it there are too many people on this planet as it is. This is a moral dilema because you arent giving these cells a chance to grow and multiply (becoming a walking talking little shit), don't forget they are nothing but cells. Hell, almost every person in the world has killed some cells at one time or another especially the host of this blog.
The point to all this: I looked up some articals on stem cell reasearch in the current news and low and behold there are the presidental candidates with their cheeful opionions on stem cell reasearch. They both stand behind stem cell research (good) but they don't both believe that we should be able to use embryos (bad). Kerry believes as I do, Bush is against using embryos. The only reason Bush is against it is for ethical and moral reasons because he is a closed minded bible banger, not because he knows what he is talking about. Kerry (not better than or worse than Bush) does not let stupid fucking dumb shit things like religion get in his way when he stands up for something. Thus being a non-voter, I vote for Kerry on this issue. Never thought I could agree on anything that came out of either of there egotistical bastards mouths.
Kerry-1
Bush-0 (sorry morgrona)
mr.b
As you know I am not exactly the most political person in the world, but I do have very strong opinions.
I care for neither presidential canidate they are both walking talking piles of shit but this is the U.S.A. We just wouldnt be they same if we didn't have some babbling moron to be the figure head for this wonderful nation of ours.
So I have a fucking crappy back because WOMEN CAN'T DRIVE!!!!!!!(I was rear ended by a woman when i was stopped, twice within a nine month period) But i have been thinking about it more and more lately because it is getting worse and the only current way to fix it (in this country) is through surgery. I will not have surgery, I am to young. If I lived in Germany I would have no problems with my back. Why? Glad you asked. The L5 disc in my back is severly deteriorated. In Germany (were they have no limitation on stem cell reasearch) they have developed a way to regrow your spinal tissues. They can draw spinal fluid out of your disc and culture it in a peetry dish then inject it back into your disc. The new cells then take over and pass the genetic coding to the cells that are already there telling them to grow/regrow your disc. The point is we are a stinking filthy rich nation that has enough money to buy the world and we limit ourselves when it comes to some types of reasearch because of stupid ethical and moral reasons. Ethical and moral does not exactly discribe America. Why should we stop something that could change so many lives not just by cureing a diease, but by fixing people with problems. I do not just want to take drugs to make the pain go away and make me feel like superman. I will just get cocky lift shit and make it worse, and be in real big trouble after that. All this got me thinking about stem cell research.
I believe very strongly about not limiting stem cell research. I don't care that we grow an embryo for study and not life. Fuck it there are too many people on this planet as it is. This is a moral dilema because you arent giving these cells a chance to grow and multiply (becoming a walking talking little shit), don't forget they are nothing but cells. Hell, almost every person in the world has killed some cells at one time or another especially the host of this blog.
The point to all this: I looked up some articals on stem cell reasearch in the current news and low and behold there are the presidental candidates with their cheeful opionions on stem cell reasearch. They both stand behind stem cell research (good) but they don't both believe that we should be able to use embryos (bad). Kerry believes as I do, Bush is against using embryos. The only reason Bush is against it is for ethical and moral reasons because he is a closed minded bible banger, not because he knows what he is talking about. Kerry (not better than or worse than Bush) does not let stupid fucking dumb shit things like religion get in his way when he stands up for something. Thus being a non-voter, I vote for Kerry on this issue. Never thought I could agree on anything that came out of either of there egotistical bastards mouths.
Kerry-1
Bush-0 (sorry morgrona)
mr.b
